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Hopeless.~Ignore if you wish~Hopeless.
I still feel Hopeless. No matter how many times I have been told. No matter how many times I have thought about it. I still feel slightly Hopeless.
It just happened. Yes, I do care about you. Yes, I still want to get to know You. Yes, I want us to be friends. No, I can't help it, I like You for who you are, a lot.
But then I think to myself, I don't want to ruin anything, I feel like i've screwed up somehow, I don't think that i'm saying the right words, I don't want to loose You because of this.
I f


Moments.Moments like... When watching the sparks fly from a bonfire on a cold night, imagining them like they were little faeries of some sort, felt warming. When watching the shadows on the walls and roof of ones room, when the wind swayed the trees back and forth, felt calming. When watching the rain fall against the glass windows, on a cloudy day with a calm breeze, felt comforting.Moments.
Even when the fire burned through and the pain didn't subside. Even when the shadows creeped and kept the night going on forever. Even when the rain could cover the tears and the fake smile.


...The walls are high and the light is diming. Fading fast. Locked inside, not wanting to go. To scared. Living on, with that diming light there. Locked within this Lock. The insanity masked. The Pain within this heart. The tears that fall and evaporate. The screaming that dies down. No one sees, No one hears, no one knows, no one would talk to me or even acknowedge my existance,...
I pushed away, I was going to push you all away, but I don't want to I'm not like I was before. The words I want to say but I don't have the heart to speak anymore... So i'm going


Mental MemoriesI don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What to do, what to feel or even what to think. I would ask myself these questions or none at all. I heard those words and I understood, but they didn't believe me. No longer with the motive to do anything. Why bother? Who cares? Whats the point? Continous questions, soon I didn't bother asking myself. Blank mind, thinking about nothing at all in particular. Just the usual, moving slightly and breathing. Closing up inside. The nightmares that re-occur I sleep the nights through. The dreams that keep me up at night, crying, thinking, &nbMental Memories
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